There is a quote by Dr. James Dobson that says, “Every child need not fit the same mold, nor should we force them to do so”. I think that is such a profound statement. I feel that too many time we as parents have set out dreams and goals for our children of what we would like them to become instead of finding out who they really are, and what they would like to be. Dreams and goals are good, and it is our job as parents to help our children find out who they are, what they love, then help them foster their dreams and goals so they can achieve them, and in the process become the very best version of themselves that they can be.
I know growing up I felt like I could not measure up to what my parents wanted from me, and I could never do enough to gain their approval. That can be devastating for a child. As a parent we need to help our children grow into who they are supposed to be, and then love and embrace them for all their special and unique gifts and abilities. Let me tell you, our boys are so uniquely different, and as I always tell them, different is okay. Our oldest son wants to go into Computer Science, our middle son (even though he scored over 1970 on his SAT’s) wants to be a mechanic, and our youngest wants to go into Criminal Justice. I think his real motivation is so that he can give me a ticket for speeding! 😉
I feel like creating your family is like making a quilt. Each patch of material that you use to put that quilt together is unique and different, and each square of material needs to be handled differently, but when it is finally all sewn together it makes a beautiful piece. The greatest gift you can give to your child is to let them know how much you love them, and how proud of them you are. It doesn’t matter how old they are, they still like to know that they have your approval. Let your kids know today how very special they are, and how very blessed you are to have them in your life. Children can be a lot of work, but they are truly a gift and a blessing (most of the time)! 😀
Written by Kim Carlisle