#56….Is There A Possibility That Dad May Actually Be Cool?

     So, as we were in the kitchen last night, I hear Joel tell Kyle that it was time to get the “Doomsday Shelter” ready, because the end days were upon us.  Not exactly the warm, fuzzy kind of conversation one is expecting to have with your son as you are spending some time with him.  My first thought was, have the boys actually been working on a shelter that I was not aware of?  And secondly, do we really need to head down into it right away?  To explain the urgency of the situation, I have to roll the clock back about 8 hours.

Rob had a lunch function with his colleagues at work.  As he was heading out the door, I just asked the simple question, “Are you really going to wear that?”.  He responded that indeed he was.  Now, most of you may think it is none of my business what a grown man wants to wear, and in most situations you would be correct.  Rob has many fantastic qualities, but fashion would probably not be ranked among them.  For an example, while we were at one of Kyle’s football games, Rob was commenting on what one of the guys was wearing.  I must admit, it was a fashion faux pas.  The man had on a Hawaiian shirt, with light wash, faded jeans.  As Rob was informing me how unfortunate a choice that outfit was, and it didn’t really look very good on him,  I was reminding him that he had 2 Hawaiian shirts at home, and tried to wear them every chance he got!  Hence, my nervousness at his clothing choice.

I told him to get in his car, and I would meet him at the store.  After helping him with his wardrobe choice, he actually looked pretty fly ( see picture).  He headed on to his lunch, and I headed home.  So as we were all in the kitchen that evening discussing how he looked, and what his co-workers thought, Rob said the women told him that he actually looked really cool. That was what triggered Joel’s remark to Kyle that the end of the world was upon us.  Joel was stunned, first of all that his dad would be considered anywhere on the “cool” chart, and secondly that the remark would come from women!  So don’t be alarmed, we are not hunkered down today in our “Doomsday Shelter”, waiting for the end of the world to come.  The boys finally had to admit that their dad just might be a little “cool” after all. 😉

Written by Kim Carlisle

#55….Is November Over Yet?!!!

Have you ever had one of THOSE weeks?!  I’m still having mine.  It started (of all days), on Halloween, and just for kicks (of all places),at the Pain Clinic.  I love my doctor and nurses there, but it is not on my list of favorite things I enjoy doing every 6 weeks for my fibromyalgia, because it’s not a very comfortable procedure that I need to have done.  So I figured November would be a much better month for me.  When I realized that my mind must have slipped, as I seemed to recall, that I had a root canal scheduled for the next day, which just happened to land on November 1st.  I figured okay, it was on a Friday, I will just power through, get it done, and then I would be good to go.  But as luck would have it, Monday rolled around, and guess what?  A dentist appointment of all things.  Nothing too exciting, just a couple of cavities to get filled.

You know when you are sitting in the dentist chair, and he is drilling (not my favorite part I must say), and then you hear him mutter…. “that’s not so good”.  You’re trying to say huh? While your mouth is completely numb, and wide open.  I think what came out when I was trying to question the “not so good part”, was just a bunch of drool.  While we were trying to communicate (not exactly as effectively as I was hoping), I thought I heard him say that he would have to send me over to the endodontist.  I couldn’t imagine why he would even think to mention something like that, since I had just been there Friday for my root canal.  Come to find out, I needed two more root canals.

I know what you are thinking at this point, do I ever brush my teeth, and have I heard of floss?  Yes, and yes!  Come to find out, one of the side effects from the medication, (and the implant I have to help with my fibro), have a devastating effect on my teeth.  So last Monday morning saw me headed from my dentist chair, into the endodontist chair.  The endodontist informed me that he would just start on the worst one to try to ease the pain, and then finish that one, and do the second one in a few weeks.  I said okay, as I was doubly numbed and I could not feel a thing at that point.  It took 10 hours for all the Novocaine to wear off, as they had both injected me with a magnificent dose.  A few days later, my face was still extremely swollen.  I called the dentist to ask if this was normal, because I was getting worried people were starting to think that Rob had taken to beating me.  Of course the dentist told me that much swelling wasn’t normal, and I needed antibiotics to take care of the infection.  Fantastic!

Over the weekend, the pain between my fibro (which is much worse when it gets cold), and my swollen face, was so severe, I thought if I didn’t seek help quickly, I would soon be heading down the road towards an alcoholic haze.  So Monday morning, I called the endodontist about my teeth, and he said to come right in.  He seemed more than eager 🙂 to drill into my other tooth.  He did a partial root canal (like he had done on the other one), just to get me as comfortable as he could, and then he will finish both of the root canals on the 21st.  Then when he had finished that procedure, I headed down to the pain clinic, where they adjusted my apparatus (procedure #2 for the day).  Now, it only takes about 12 hours for the adjusted dose to kick in, but hey, I was just glad they fit me in.

So thanks to Rob, who after chauffering me all over the place on his veterans day off (is that not love or what?), we headed to pick up Kyle from football practice on our way home.  I was telling Rob that I didn’t think this day could get any worse, when we realized that we were not going to beat Joel’s bus home.  Now normally this would not be a problem, but Rob had Joel’s house key.  He needed to make a copy of it, (because he still had not gotten all of his personal items back that he had to leave in his office), when the Navy Yard shooting happened.  We were racing home as fast as we could when Rob informed me that he had left the rake and garbage can in the front yard, and he was sure that Joel would be raking up the leaves for him.  I scoffed at that idea,      and made a wild guess he would be sitting on the front porch listening to his music (as he never takes his ear plugs out), and has his music so loud that if you stand close enough to him, you can actually hear it.  We pulled up to the house to see his back-pack on the front porch, but no Joel.  I got a little worried for a minute, until we saw him come sauntering around the house.  I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was throwing pebbles up at my bedroom window,  in case I had decided to take a nap and forgot to unlock the door!!  We just started laughing.

We finally all got into the house, and I decided I WAS going to take that nap, because it had been a very painful day for me, and I was positive it could not get any worse.  I was just crawling into bed, when Rob came up handing me the phone.  You will never believe who was on the other end.  It was my freakin’ gynecologist reminding me that I was due for my yearly stirrup exam.  Yipee      !!  For you men out there, just think “bend and cough”.  For women it is known as “spread em”.  I must say, I couldn’t have imagined a more fantastic start to any week like I had last week, and yet it seems like it might be trying to repeat itself again this week.  I sure am hoping that the rest of this week is a little more uneventful.  I think I might go take that nap now.  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 😉

Written by Kim Carlisle

#51….Football, Fanatics, and Fans

     Recently someone who has watched a game of football with me, posted this quote on my Facebook page: ” Not only do REAL women watch football, they also cuss out the players and refs”!  I actually got a really good laugh out of it, because those who know me well, know that I am a very passionate football fan. Especially when it comes to my Steelers.  Although we are having our most difficult season since the 1960’s, and I am not accustomed to losing gracefully AT ALL, I guess I am learning a lesson in humility this year.  (Like having kids is not a humbling lesson in and of itself!)  The reason this quote that was given to me is so apropos, will come to light in a minute.

They say that recent studies have come out in our area, that show our traffic has one of the worst ratings in the nation.  Not only for driver rudeness, (and no, I was NOT a part of that study group –  for those of you who immediately jumped to that conclusion), but also because of traffic congestion.

As we were heading to Kyle’s football game this week-end, the traffic was horrendous.  We had to merge from the left lane, all the way over (across 5 lanes), into the right lane.  As Joel and I were helping Rob merge over, he was trying to manage the simple task of putting on the blinker.  He kept flipping on the right blinker/left blinker, back and forth, so the poor person behind us had no idea which lane Rob was trying to merge into.  Rob tried explaining to us that it was not his fault, but the blinker got stuck, and that he couldn’t get it to stay in just one position.  In all honesty, when I’m driving my car, I have never seemed to have that “problem”.  I reminded him that my car, ( like most women)  just need the gentle touch.  After his fantastic display of “blinker” skills, we were starting to notice quite a few ugly glares.  As Joel was dying of sheer embarrassment, he chose that moment to pipe up from the back seat to say, “These are the times when tinted windows come in extremely handy ”.  Unfortunately for me, as I was in the front seat, I did not have that advantage.  We eventually got to the game unscathed, and without further incident.

Once at the game, I usually enjoy shooting the breeze with the refs.  I know quite often, theirs is a very thankless job.  Sometimes you get really good refs, and sometimes not so good.  This particular game, they were outstanding.  After the game as we were leaving, I was telling the refs that they had done the best job of any game I had seen all season.  I went on to tell them that I only had to yell at them one time, when they had called the pass a fair catch, and it was clearly a trapped ball.  They all started pointing the finger at one guy, and told me that it was HIS fault.  The head ref quickly went on to remind me that he had re-versed that call ( I’m not quite sure if he heard the yelling and outrage from the stands 😉 ).  I told him that I had noticed, and was most appreciative.  I told him for a minute there, I thought I might have had to come out of the stands!  They just laughed.  So a big thanks to all you refs out there that do a good job, and a very special shout-out goes to two of my favorite refs in the NFL #85 Ed Hochuli, and #127 Bill Levy!  They are the best that I know.

There have been times, (when we are watching football down in the man-cave), that I will look around, and all the guys have disappeared because I have been expressing my opinions too loud at the TV.  The boys have told me they wish that my Steelers could play every day.  They tell me that when they do, (and win of course), they notice that my fibro is not as bad, and I am not in quite so much pain.  I’m not quite sure why that is, but as much as I would enjoy watching them play every day, ( and love having a few pain-free days! ), it might be a little hard on my Steelers.  But today of all days, may they triumph over the Ravens!!!

So to you women who love football as much as I do, there is no shame in being loud and proud! 😀

Written by Kim Carlisle

#45….A Man Of All Trades

     We had a very interesting evening last night at our son’s football game.  He got to start on the kick- off team, but as the game progressed several of the players became injured.  We began to notice how many when towards the end of the game he was playing safety.  Then suddenly we heard the announcer say, ” And back to receive the kick is Carlisle”.  He has never been on the return team, has not even practiced returning a punt one time.  After the punt, he headed up to the line of scrimmage as quarterback.  He got to play several positions that he has never played or practiced before.  They didn’t win, but we were proud that they didn’t quit in the face of adversity.

After the game I told our son that we were very surprised to hear his name called.  He said so was he.  I asked him at which point did he realize he was going to have to be back there for the punt, and he told me that he was coming off the field as a safety, and the coach told him to just keep backing up.  He did as he was told, and then realized as the ball was heading his way after the kick-off that he was going to be put in that position.  The coach even asked him if he could kick the ball.  He said he had never tried it before, but he would do whatever the coach needed him to do.  So I guess next football practice he is going to be practicing a whole bunch of new positions besides quarterback.  When he came off the field, he told me the coaches congratulated him on his toughness because he took quite a few good hits, but bounced right back up.

His JV coach was there and stopped by to talk to me, and told me what an incredible and special young man our son was.  He told me how proud he was of him because he has always worked so hard (even if he didn’t get to play), has so much character, and has overcome so many obstacles to get where he is today.  I guess the guys on the team have dubbed him as the “starting comedian”.  I think that speaks for itself.  It is nice as a parent to hear from his coaches and peers that you might be doing something right!  Mostly it is fun to see him turning into such a fine young man.

Written by Kim Carlisle

Post #22….Why High Heels Are Critically Important!

As most of you know, the stories that I have been telling you, happened awhile ago.  Our boys are all teenagers now, but I have just been giving you a snapshot of what our life has been like raising 3 boys on the autism spectrum, while Rob was in the military.  Hopefully, by sharing some of our experiences, it might help some of you to understand autism better, or what it is like being a family in the military.

Anyway, this happens to be a picture of Joel and me going to Kyle’s football game. I hardly ever go places without having my hair, make-up, and nails done, all dressed up, and I always wear high heels.

I even wear high heels to Kyle’s football games.  They actually come in very handy for making a lot of noise when stomping on the metal bleachers.  If someone sits down next to me, I am polite enough to warn them that I am very loud, and if they would like to sit somewhere else I will not be offended.  I get very passionate when I watch sports, and yes I must admit that I yell at the ref when I think he needs some help.

Another time heels were useful for me was when I was 8 months pregnant with Joel.  Rob took me to see Phantom of the Opera.  When it came time for intermission, I had to pee really badly.  Joel was sitting way down low on my bladder.  The problem came when I found out that there was only one bathroom per floor.  Now ladies who have been pregnant, you know when you have to go, you are in dire straits.  You also know that the ladies line is very long, and moves very slow.

I got to the line, and was hopping up and down on one foot, trying not to have an accident, until I could get in there.  Do you know that not one lady who saw how desperate I was let me cut in line?  But those dear sweet guys whose line was just across from ours, asked me if I would like to use their restroom, while they watched the door for me.  I asked them first if they had more than just urinals in there, because it was going to be a little difficult straddling them in my current condition.

They assured me that there were stalls in there.  I rushed in with a huge sigh of relief, when I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have taken such a big breath.  It was quite odiferous in there, but I managed to power through.  When I came out, I thanked those generous guys, and told them how much I appreciated them allowing me to use their restroom.

Then just recently, I had to go to the doctor.  It was raining that day, and of course as usual, I had on my 4” heels.  I didn’t take into account that when I came into the hospital with wet heels on those polished floors that it would be like an ice rink.  When I first started to slide I managed to hold my own, and thought that I could get it under control.  The moment I realized that I actually did not have control, was when I found myself on the floor.

Three men immediately rushed over to help me up.  I was actually glad that there didn’t seem to be many women around, because instead of helping me up, I think they would have gotten out their camera phones and laughed while snapping some shots of me.  I thanked the guys, and assured them that I was okay, but they insisted on walking me all the way to the elevator, and my appointment.

And I always wear my 4” heels to the dentist.  I tell him if he hurts me that I will take them off, and use them on him.  So far, I have not needed to.

It seems like whenever you wear heels, guys notice.  Most women think that men don’t notice what you’re wearing, and that male chivalry is dead.  I however, am not one of them.  I think if you take a little time to dress up, do your hair and make-up, put on some heels, and look like a lady, men will treat you like one.

Now, I know that there are some exceptions to every rule; but I think that most guys like to know that they can protect you, and they genuinely like to do things for you. I am quite confident in my ability to take care of myself, but I enjoy it when a guy opens the door for me, or tells me that I look nice.

You generally have 3 seconds to make a first impression, so I advise you to put your best foot forward.  And next time when you want to complain about how men don’t notice or pay attention to you, look in the mirror to see how you are presenting yourself, and don’t forget to wear your high heels!

Written by Kim Carlisle