#50….Beauty is Pain

  As most of you may know, besides having fibromyalgia, I have suffered with chronic migraines for most of my life.  I have been a virtual guinea pig trying anything and everything to prevent them, and then stop them once they have started.  Mostly, it has been an adventure in futility.  But recently studies have shown that Botox may work, as a form of prevention.  Well  at my age, you can imagine I was all over that new discovery.  It only took me about a year fighting with the insurance company to approve it.  My neurologist had to prove that I have tried all other forms of treatment, and that they were not effective.  I really think the final deal came through when they had to start footing the bill for my migraine medicine.  It literally costs $33.00 per tablet.  The insurance is fine when I am footing the bill, but once I reach my deductible, and they are having to pay, they are all the sudden contacting me wondering why oh why am I having so many migraines?  So they finally approved it.

I was ecstatic.  I was finally going to take care of my migraines, and look young all in one fell swoop.  There are only a handful of neurologists who are actually approved to do this procedure, as I have come to find out.  Mine was not very amenable to my directions of where to place the Botox injections.  It was rather more painful than I had anticipated.  He put them all around my hair-line, as if my hair needs to look any younger.  We women have long-held a secret to younger hair called hair-dye (or touching up our roots, as we like to call it).  Then he stuck me in the back of the head, where as luck would have it, no one is going to see.

Then down the back of my neck, and all along my shoulders.  I was thinking just terrific.  They say, you can tell a woman’s age a lot by looking at her neck.  I was extremely disappointed that the injections went into the back of my neck, and not the front.  I guess I will have to just walk back-wards from now on.  And I will have really young-looking shoulders.  He did place a few into my fore-head, not exactly where the problem areas were, and there-in lies the problem.  I explained to him since I was paying for that vial of Botox anyway, he really should just even things out.  I was going to look really smooth in a couple of places, which in turn would emphasize how much faster I was looking like a wrinkled prune in others.  He just laughed.  Of course, he is a man.  He doesn’t understand the intricacies of the female psyche.

All in all, I think I received around 20 injections.  After all that, I am just hoping that it works.  For those of you who have migraines, you know how debilitating they are.  So here’s hoping for the best, and having really young-looking hair! 😉

Written by Kim Carlisle

#49….Guys, Guts, and Gore

  Our oldest son is home from college this week on a short break.  It has been nice having the family together again.  He has slept much of the time, but he tells me that it is from studying hard, taking tests, and turning in papers all week.  I am trusting his word, because he has never given me cause not to.  It is nice to see how much he is maturing, but still hard letting him fly his wings.

Our other two sons, have been taking forensic science this year.  Both are enjoying it immensely.  I did ask Joel how it was going, and he proceeded to tell me that it was a good thing that he and I signed “that” form.  I asked him what form he was talking about, because when school begins, it seems like all one does is sign forms.  I guess it was a form for him to be exposed to things that one would not normally see.  Such as: an autopsy, real crime scene videos, etc.  He told me that they had watched a video on “The Body Farm”.  I have heard about it before.  It is where they have hundreds of bodies in different forms of decomposition.  I guess the class saw things that as he put it, “were rather interesting”.  I told him he did not need to go into graphic detail, so he summed it all up by saying some of the students were extremely grossed out.  I asked him if he was fine, he assured me that he was, but went on to say that if those students couldn’t handle those types of situations, he didn’t see much of a future in forensics for them.

I guess they also had to process a crime scene, but Joel did not think the scenario he was given, was all that believable.  The guy was supposedly shot in his bed, but the women next to him had no “blood spatter” on her.  Plus he informed me, they had positioned two hands and feet under the window.  Since the gunshot wound was to the chest, he was finding that hard to comprehend.  He made very valid points to me, so I asked him why he didn’t bring up those same points to his teacher, but he said that he didn’t want to seem like he was a “know it all”.  We may actually have a budding forensic scientist on our hands after all!

Then he went on to his auto tech class, which of course is the highlight of his day.  After wrestling with installing a frustrating fuel pump,  he decided he was going to order something from the Café.  I guess at Thomas Edison School of Technology, the students who are training in Restaurant Management or becoming a chef, run a Café at the school there.  He told me he had just sat down to enjoy his Panini and milk-shake, when the fire alarm sounded.  Come to find out, there had been an actual fire in the building.  When I asked him where the origin of the fire was, he was not sure.  He said he definitely would not rule out his auto shop class, since he worked with several “clowns” in there.  Fortunately, they let them take their food outside, so he got to finish it.

Kyle came home tired from football practice, but his PSAT’s seemed to go well.  He doesn’t understand the need for them.  He just wants to take the SAT’s once, and be done.  I told him that they like one to practice so they can get better and faster at it.  He thinks that is just plain crazy.  He does not enjoy scholastics, as you may have gathered by now.   I told him to be thankful that he has been blessed with a quick brain, and that things come easy for him.  All in all everyone is doing well, and for that we are grateful.

Written by Kim Carlisle

#48….Why?

 As most of you are aware, Rob was at work the day of the Navy Yard shooting on September 16, 2013.  Rob’s office was on the 4th floor, where the gunman was shooting from.  We are so grateful that his guardian angel was watching over him that day, but you can’t imagine at the time, the impact it can have on one’s life.  I didn’t realize how much our middle son was struggling with what happened, because as you may be aware, it is incredibly difficult for those who are on the Autism spectrum to vocalize exactly how they are feeling.  He was able to put it down beautifully on paper, and I am amazed with what he was able to write.  I thought since he was able to write what we have all been feeling, that I would share it with you.

He entitled it :                                           ” WHY ”

He was on my dad’s floor at the Navy Yard, aiming down at people as they tried to escape with their lives.  Counting the gunman himself, thirteen failed.  My dad was just coming out of the bathroom when he heard gunshots and a woman screaming.  His boss came up to him and told him that they needed to get out.  They made their way out, turning left first.  As it turns out, if they had turned right instead, they would come face to face with him.  My dad and his team all made it out, but like I said, thirteen did not.

Thirteen sons and daughters, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, cousins, maybe even grandfathers and grandmothers, all extinguished with the pull of a trigger.  Those who did survive this must deal with what happened for the rest of their days on earth.  And everyone is left asking “why”?  Why did he do this attack and show such lack of remorse or regard for human life?  We are left asking, “how”?  How did he acquire such firepower?  How can mankind show such depravity and cold-bloodedness, and on so many occasions throughout history?   Alas, these questions will probably go unanswered for eternity, and we are left to pick up the pieces of our lives once again.

I could not have put it better than our son has.  He seems to have wisdom beyond his years.  He has too many wonderful qualities to list, but I appreciate his tender heart, and thoughtfulness for others.  I am so proud he was able to put down how he was feeling, but he is right in that we probably will never know what causes such tragedies to happen in our world.  The best thing we can do is to be grateful for the blessings  we have, and live our lives so that they count.

Written by Kim Carlisle

#47….Never A Dull Moment

   Yesterday our middle son came home from school in a terrific mood.  I asked him if anything special had happened to make it such a great day, and he couldn’t wait to tell me how he had been able to use a pneumatic / impact power wrench in Auto Tech.  I guess they were learning how to find a leak in a car’s tire, and then doing the necessary repairs to fix it.  He went into extensive detail trying to explain about the torque, and how the spinning motor delivers a shock of power to the lug nut using compressed air.  His only regret was that he wished he had learned how to remove and repair tires last year instead of this year.

I asked him why that was, when he reminded me how over the summer he, his Bros, and Rob had that old tire they were trying to remove off the rim.  They wanted to separate it, so Kyle could hang the tire from a tree, and practice throwing the football through it.  They tried everything to pry that tire off the rim, but could never get it off.  I think their final conclusion was that it was just so old, it had to be rusted on there.  As Joel found out, there was actually a very simple solution.  I guess when you remove a tire from the rim, you first have to break the “beads” around the tire, and then you can pry it right off.  He thought that would have been a much easier process to carry out than the crow bar, sledge-hammer, sweat, frustration, and a few choice (#@#%)  words!

Then his day continued to be an exciting one.  As he was changing into his coveralls, he heard a bunch of choking, coughing, and other weird sounds.  He came out to find the guys daring each other to eat some hot peppers.  As he instructed me, these were no ordinary hot peppers.  They were Bird’s Eye or Thai chili peppers.  Of course I had to ask about the difference, and he told me that jalapeño peppers had a count of 4,000 scoville units (whatever the heck that is!), and the chili peppers he was trying were 25 X’s as spicy.  The Bird’s Eye chili peppers were 100,000 scoville units.  I asked him if he tried them, and of course he did (what a silly question!).  I guess the guys who had tried to take a bite before him (the ones who were choking, coughing, sweating, etc.) told him, “Don’t do it man!”.  But for those of you who are not very familiar with our son, we are fairly convinced by now, that whatever taste buds he used to have, he has burned off by now.  Nobody in the house likes him to make things that are for the family’s consumption, since there have been times that we have had to endure Tabasco sauce in our lemonade.  I guess he ate two whole chili peppers, and the other guys were most impressed.

Then in the evening as we were watching Family Feud, there were a couple of questions that Joel answered as only he can.  The first one was: Name something a nudist does not want to sit on?  He blurts out, “a frozen bench”.  One would think I have learned by now not to question, but I had to ask why.  He responded by saying how your hair’s would get stuck, and when you stood up it would be like getting a major waxing.  Since we as women don’t have butt hair’s, that idea never occurred to me, but I can see how that would be rather painful.

The other question was:  Name something that teens do not want to have happen when they are having a house party?  Of course we all said, parents come home, police called, etc.  The one answer we didn’t get correct was – have an orgy.  I looked over to see Joel with a dictionary.  He looked up at me and said, “Well, that was TMI, but at least now I know what licentious means”.  We all just cracked up laughing.  I must say that our house is never dull!

Written by Kim Carlisle

#46….I Am Not Perfect?

 I love having my teenage sons.  They are a great deal of fun, and always keep me on my toes.  I remember when they were younger, I would always worry about having teens because parents would tell me how hard it was, but they truly are a blessing.  I guess the biggest drawback would be their ability to point out one’s flaws so accurately.  I must admit that I was extremely surprised to find out that I had any.  I guess all this time I have been operating under the notion that I was fine, and it was just everyone else that needed fixing!

We just got our oldest son’s glasses re-placed (the ones that are sight-seeing at the bottom of the Potomac River). As we were driving along he was noticing how much clearer things were.  It was at this point that he remarked on how many more gray hair’s his dad seemed to be sporting.  I was thankful I didn’t turn around because I certainly didn’t need my increasingly number of wrinkles pointed out to me.

Then as I was going over a school assignment with our youngest son, he told me that he knew what he needed to do because I had already explained it to him.  I said I was just reminding him again because I was not quite sure if he was listening.  I told him that if we are talking about football, cars, or hockey then he is completely engaged; but the minute I try to discuss other issues, his eyes glaze over and roll into the back of his head.  He responded, “To be fair mom, as a person who talks as much as you do, it’s just too hard to catch everything you say”.  Touche to that boy!

He and I also like to work out at the gym together.  One day he informed me that our gym offers cycling, zumba, and kick-boxing classes.  I told him the only class that I would really be interested in would be the kick-boxing class.  As I was displaying my kick-boxing techniques to him, he told me that before I do the class I may need to grow some legs connected to my ankles.  Then he proceeded to tell me he was worried that if I WAS able to get my foot up high enough, that making the attempt might throw my hip or back out.  The audacity of that young man.

They do enjoy teasing me because I am the shortest.  Their pants are as tall as I am, and they have to bend over to give me a hug.  But as I tell them great things come in small packages.  They do keep me humble, and are very capable of putting me in my place.  But it truly is nice when you can enjoy spending time with your teens, and they aren’t even embarrassed to be seen with you!    

Written by Kim Carlisle

#44….Back To The Salt Mines

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            School has officially begun.  The early morning mad dashes around the house getting ready, trying to make sure they have everything they need before the bus comes.  Their bus comes at 6 a.m., so one is not totally awake, and in the best form at that time of the morning.  I can’t believe I only have two left in High School!  One of our sons always seems to make a spectacular entrance on the very first day of each new school year.  Last year, as he was going into the locker room to change for gym, he did so amidst shrieks and screams, only to realize that he had entered the girl’s locker room.  When I asked him how he had handled the situation, he said that he told them “my bad”, and rapidly backed out.  So this year, he went to find his home-room, only to discover that the room he had entered was the freshman’s home-room instead of the senior’s.  He was starting to realize his mistake when he heard a teacher say to the other teacher in the classroom, “Good luck with your ninth grader’s this year”.  Needless to say, he found where he needed to go, and the rest of the day went great.  He loves all his classes, especially in the afternoon when he gets to work on cars the entire time.

Our youngest son however, did not see any of the classes he was looking for on his schedule.  He was hoping to see AP lunch, and the very interesting study of the inside of his eye-lids.  It surprised him to find that neither class would be offered, and he would actually have to acquire some sort of knowledge this year.  When they asked him that all important question of how did he feel about being back in school ready to start another year?  He responded by telling them that he felt bored, imprisoned, and oppressed by “the man”.  They should have stopped there, but of course they soldiered on to ask him about his goals for this year.  His reply was that he hoped to survive the next 9-10 months of torture and depression.  Other than that I think his first day went pretty well.

Then believe it or not, our son (who is a freshman in college) finally called!  He is doing great, and his classes are going well.  I think he might even be considering changing his major from Math and Computer Science, to GIRLS.  Whenever I talk to him he is either eating dinner, playing cards, shooting pool, or going canoeing with them.  He does manage to throw in some football games with the guys, and it is nice to see that he is settling in, and making some really good friends.  Oh, and back to the reason he called?  As he was canoeing (with a girl of course), somehow his glasses ended up at the bottom of the Potomac River.  I’m not quite sure what he was doing to manage that interesting feat, but he called to say that he needs new glasses, and oh yeah he did love us.  It is nice to see him having fun, and enjoying his college experience, rather than be miserable and homesick.

And the latest news about how Rob is healing from his concussion?  They did a CAT scan, and said his head looked normal.  After hearing that news though, I’m not quite sure a qualified technician read the scan correctly.  I’m seriously considering getting a second opinion.  All in all it has been a pretty good start to the new school year.  I’m crossing my fingers that is stays that way.  I just wish they would stop growing up so fast!!

Written by Kim Carlisle

#43….Just Call Me Maybe?

          Now I am sure that most of you thought that when we sent our very first son off to college that I would be one of those “helicopter” moms, calling and texting 10-20 times a day.  But believe it or not, that has actually not been the case.  I did imagine though that he might be a little homesick, and miss us somewhat, and that we would receive several calls from him to check in with us, and let us know how he was doing, and how his day was going.  Well, life as you know has its own way of doing things.  First of all, when we went up to his dorm room on Sunday to take him some things he forgot, it looked like a bomb had gone off in there when we tried to step in the door.  Apparently he has already conveniently forgotten everything I have tried to teach him over the last 18 years about keeping his room picked up, and his room-mate is just as bad or worse.  I got all his drawers sorted out, and things put away (which I’m sure by now are not where I neatly stored them), and he did not seem at all disappointed to see me or my husband leave.

     We gave him a hug, and told him to check his phone messages, e-mail, and try to give us a call to check in with us to let us know how things were going.  He has been there almost two weeks now, and I have had to initiate both phone calls.  Notice that I have only called him twice!  He seems to be doing great.  You know how as a mother for some reason you think that you will always be that one special woman in your son’s life?  Well as I am coming to find out, I am slowly being replaced.  Nathan never had much luck with the girls in high school, but apparently college is a whole different story, and boy is he loving ever minute of it.  No wonder he hasn’t found the time to call me.

     Then last night Joel was practicing some pick-up lines on me that he thinks might work.  He said to me he was going to ask a girl if she was from Tennessee, because she sure looked like a ten to him!  I told him that was a pretty good one, and not your usual standard one that everyone uses.  It was unique and original, and if he keeps thinking up ones like that they just might work.  So it looks like I am on the verge of losing son #2.  Then as I was driving Kyle home from football practice, he told me that maybe next year he was going to take yoga for his gym class.  I asked him why would he take yoga instead of weight lifting?  He proceeded to tell me that the class would be filled with girls, which would make it a target rich environment!  So I think I may have lost my third and final son.

     So I figured at least I still have one guy left.  My dear sweet hubby.  After being diagnosed with his concussion, the doctor has told him that he must stay off all electronics.  He is having a little difficulty in this area though, because he has become addicted to this crazy “monkey” game on the I-Pad.  Thank God I can cook, do laundry, and one other little favor men enjoy that those stupid monkeys can’t carry out, or I may even find myself with no men left in my life.  Oh sure they still need me when they are hungry, or need clean underwear, but other than I am becoming obsolete.

     I can’t complain though.  As hard as it is to see them grow up and start to leave, and getting ready to try out their wings; I am so very proud of the fine young men that they are turning out to be.  They are kind, caring, considerate gentlemen, and I guess as a mother you can’t ask for much more than that.  But I hope that they will remember to call me now and again! 🙂

Written by Kim Carlisle

#42….The Pitfalls Of Camping

       Recently Rob took the guys for one last hoorah camping, fishing trip before Nathan headed off to college, and the guys started school.  They were not supposed to return until late Saturday, but early Saturday morning, I heard someone creeping quietly in the door.  Fortunately for them I realized in time who it was, because I have a golf club by the side of my bed, and I am not afraid to use it!   I asked them what they were doing home so early, and apparently Kyle and Nathan had gotten sunburned so badly, and it was so painful that they couldn’t even sleep.  Poor Kyle turned out to have second degree burns.  So of course mom to the rescue, gets some burn spray and cream to doctor him up.

    Kyle had just gotten home from football camp (where he was one of four guys recognized by the University coaches for his dedication, determination, and work ethic in front of hundreds of the other guys who also attended football camp).  Needless to say, I am very proud of him.  I told him that athletes come and go, but character will last a lifetime.  But the problem was that he had gotten a sunburn at football camp, so after camping,  he had a sunburn on top of a sunburn.  The day after he got home from camping he started two a day football practice.  That boy has been a trooper.  We have to bandage up his neck (because his helmet and pads have rubbed the sunburn on his neck until it is raw), his big toe nail is coming off, so we have to wrap that up, but he doesn’t complain.  His coach told me that he is one special kid, and an asset to the team.  That makes a mom proud to hear that.

    Yesterday, when I was watching their practice, the girl who manages the water and equipment, asked me who my son was.  I told her it was Kyle, and did she know him.  She said she did, and that he was one of the nicest guys.  When she needed help with something, I guess he was the only one of the guys who stopped to help her out.  When I told Kyle thanks for doing that, he told me that at least some of the things I was teaching him was rubbing off!!  Good to know, and get confirmation that things are sinking in.

    On one last note….Rob in all his gracefulness was heading down a metal ramp with the boys to go fishing, and it was wet, and he was wearing flip-flops.  I will give you one guess at what happened….yep, he slipped and fell hitting his head.  He just found out from the doctor that he sustained a concussion.  I’m not quite sure how successful the guys trip was, but I’m quite certain  it is one that they will not soon forget….that’s for sure!!   

Written by Kim Carlisle

#41….How Time Flies

      You know how starting out when you first bring that beautiful baby home from the hospital, and they keep you up nights, and you are so exhausted and wonder if you will ever get any sleep again? Well, after having dropped our first son off at college this week, I find myself wondering where all the time went. He was always so precocious, and always had an answer for everything. I remember when he was really little, and I asked him if he had gas, and he informed me that it was just a “poop” whistling in his tummy.

Probably the scariest thing he ever did to me was when he was two years old. He would always come crawl in bed with me around 6:15 a.m., and we would cuddle until 6:30, and then get Joel up and start our day. On this particular morning, he never came in. I searched the whole house for him, and couldn’t find him. I checked the back door, and that little bugger had unlocked all the locks and gotten out.

At this stage I was in panic mode. I called 911, and while pregnant with Kyle, carrying Joel in my arms, I ran outside to go look for him. The police found him 4 houses down from us. They told me that I had done a really good job about teaching him not to go to strangers. I said great, but that I had also told him that he couldn’t go outside without me, and apparently he had forgotten that rule! I asked him what he was doing, and he told me that he went out to go get me from the doctor’s. I had such a difficult pregnancy with Kyle, that I was always at the doctor or hospital while pregnant with Kyle. The only thing I can figure out is that I must have gone to the bathroom, and he didn’t see me when he came in that morning, so he went out to get me.

Then he was diagnosed with Asperger’s, and we had a new challenge on our hands. I never felt upset or discouraged when we got his diagnosis, I just knew that we would have to parent a little differently, but that he was that same special beautiful baby that we had been blessed with.

Then it hurts while you watch them grow and struggle. He was bullied badly in 6th grade, and that was a difficult time for all of us. But then we got him into a new school and watched him blossom into a fine young man. He is such a good big brother, so caring, and thoughtful, and kind. His other two brothers are already missing him. As I was bringing Kyle home from football practice yesterday, he was ready to go get Nathan, and bring him home from college. I just hope that we have given him the tools that he needs to be successful in this next chapter of his life, and that he has a lot of fun while doing so.

So where does the time go? I don’t know, but what I do know is that it goes all to fast. So give all your kids a hug today, and tell them how much you love them and how proud you are of them, and that your life would never be the same if they were not a part  of it.                                                                                                                                                                       

Written by Kim Carlisle

#40….How Many Men Does It Take To–

     Here’s a question for you. How many intelligent men does it take to move a couch through a doorway? Now keep in mind we are talking about a nuclear engineer (who actually had his hand on nuclear weapons), one who is studying Math and Computer Science in college, and I think all four are in the genius range on the I.Q. test. As most of you know our basement flooded a couple of weeks ago, and yesterday they finally got the carpet back down. So the guys were putting all the furniture back downstairs.

I saw them trying to take the couch straight down, on its side, diagonally, upside-down, every which way you could imagine. Then somebody finally came up with the bright idea of taking off the legs. Then they went through the same process again. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore, and told them for ‘Pete’s Sake’, why don’t you just remove the back off the base of the couch? I proceeded to do so, and carried half of it down the stairs while two of the other guys carried down the bottom. As they were coming down the stairs I heard them say, “Well I sure feel stupid”, and another one, “Yeah, makes me feel like an idiot”! I heard our niece upstairs say, “She had enough, and she gone”! The one burning question that I have though, and they still can’t figure out is, how did they manage to get the couch up out of the basement in the first place?

So as the guys were finishing up moving the furniture, and I was cooking dinner, Joel walks up to me with a cockroach on his hand. I nonchalantly asked him if it was dead or alive, and where he found it. He told me it was just a plastic one that I had bought them, and he had found it under something. He asked me if he could go show it to our niece, and I said “sure”. I knew she was afraid of spiders, but had no idea she was afraid of bugs. All of a sudden I hear a blood curdling shriek, and pounding feet coming down the stairs. Then I heard Joel say (if I am remembering the correct terminology that he used), “I guess she is Katsaridaphobic, and by the way, thanks for the head-ache”! I asked him what the heck that meant? He kindly explained to me that it’s the Latin term for fear of cockroaches. Then he goes on to tell me several other Latin terms, and he’s never taken Latin. I told him in the future if he wants to communicate effectively with me, he will either have to speak Pig Latin, or plain English in the house, if he wants me to understand what he is talking about.

Meanwhile, I don’t think my niece has forgiven me. I did apologize profusely, and threw the cockroach in the garbage. I don’t think anyone had ever heard a scream that loud in our house before. The poor puppy dog was traumatized, and hid under the table for quite some time. I think we were finally getting back to normal until Kyle piped up to tell our niece, if she thought that was bad, just wait until April Fool’s Day because mom is the master at pranks. I have solemnly sworn that I WILL NOT play any pranks on her come April Fool’s Day.

Written by Kim Carlisle